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my books

The Deathsleep Cycle Book 3 Preview!

Below is the first chapter of book three! (Note, there may be changes to the final version of the text in editing)

, who had been discovered to be an elf—the key being his pointed ears—had Darrien thinking more about magic than he ever had before. He found himself replaying the events of the morning in his mind, over and over again. He had managed to drag one of his new cohorts, Barty, out of the blaze caused by the elf’s magical inferno, but not without some burns. Darrien glanced over his shoulder to the covered wagon that was being driven by the quartermaster, Stix. Barty—who he had grown close with in their short time—was resting in the back, along with some of the group’s supplies, mostly food and tools. 

By midday, Darrien was exhausted. The morning’s events had seemed to drag on endlessly, making it feel like it was already a world away with the city at their backs. He had been looking forward to taking the day to get to know the other members of the Silverbows better, but a tired silence seemed to have overtaken the whole group, or at least those he was riding near. Captain Titus Ironclaw, who had also been up since the attack that morning, had seen how tired Darrien was, and had thus assigned him to be a part of the main protective force—where the captain could keep an eye on him. The captain informed Darrien that he would be rotating the duties that Darrien would perform, both on the road, and when they made camp, so that Darrien could understand the duties and responsibilities, and to determine where amongst the group Darrien’s talents lay.

The group’s progress was halted by evening, with the mountains that Darrien had skirted during his trip up to Rocknest still miles away, looming large, highlighted gold by the setting sun against the dark of night behind them. Darrien was actually a bit excited to make camp, as doing so would mean breaking the spell that had seemed to make everyone mute. He had also been excited to show off some of his skills setting up camp, collecting firewood, pitching tents, perhaps searching for provisions. This would be his opportunity to really make himself invaluable.

That made it all the more disappointing when, after the lieutenant of the Silverbows, Robin, finished distributing the work, he got to Darrien, and told him to dig trenches. The young, brown-haired officer of the mercenary band had justified the decision by saying that the work was “mindless”, and would make him stronger. What was worse was that he had been assigned to the task with Rudolph, the burly brawler with shoulder-length black hair, who had not taken too kindly to Darrien to begin with, and was certainly not going to like him more after being involved in the attack on the mansion that morning.

Darrien reported to Styx, the quartermaster for the group, though it seemed that title failed to cover the whole breadth of the man’s responsibilities. In this case, he was needed for a shovel, but the array of vials, barrels, racks of tools, and even paper documents made Darrien wonder if there was anything that the small, wiry man did not have. He hardly had finished the thought when Styx whipped back around, shovel in hand, hardly giving Darrien a moment to breathe, the man’s matted, almost dusty hair flipping around in clumps, filling the air with dust.

Styx dropped the shovel into Darrien’s hands, and dismissed him with a grunt. Darrien tried to at least give him some common courtesy, but found himself coughing on the thick, dry air instead. Styx once again grunted, and Darrien stumbled and coughed out from the back of the supply wagon, filling his lungs instead with the icy air that was flowing down from the pale, blanketed mountains just a few more miles southeast.  He was washing the last bits of grit from his mouth using his waterskin when a harsh, thick voice gave him a start and induced another fit of coughing.

“So I’ve got you first? Of friggin course.” It was Rudolph, who seemed to dwarf Darrien, shovel already in hand, the spade slung over his shoulder at the ready. He was a few inches taller than Darrien, but Rudolph’s immensity came from how thick he was, with Darrien feeling like he could fit two of himself in Rudolph’s chest. “Boy, this is how this is going to go, I don’t trust ya, ‘specially not after that trouble that you brought around this morning. I ain’t convinced that you weren’t in it with him…” The man moved his thick red cheeks and bright red beard in towards Darrien’s face, until the world in view was carpeted in red and smelled of strong booze. “But, you didn’t let Bart die, so I’m gonna watch ya dig until I do.” Rudolph pulled his face back and Darrien, who had been holding his breath, from the tension, and the stench, exhaled, and nodded, not wanting to prod the burly man on what had been a trying day for everyone.

Rudolph pointed to a spot, and Darrien would dig, until he pointed to a new one. Rudolph casually leaned against his shovel, like a walking stick, taking frequent drinks from his wineskin, disapproving look on his face the whole time. Rudolph had him dig half a dozen trenches in all, most barely more than a foot deep, not even reaching dirt in most cases. Darrien was not sure that this was the right way to do it, as they seemed to be of little use more than to relieve themselves, but he certainly was not going to raise the issue with the man whose fists looked like they could, and had, crushed skulls. Darrien finally got some help on the last trench that he was digging. Rudolph pulled his shovel up from the snow, and began to help, grumbling that, “You’re takin’ too long, all the food‘ll be gone by the time you’re done.”

As it turned out, there was still a bit of time before the collective efforts of Styx, and Khalar, who doubled as the camp cooks was ready to be served, leaving Darrien with some time to sit down in his tent, which he would be sharing with Barty, if Barty was not going to be staying in Khalar’s supply wagon while recovering from his burns tonight. Laying down on his bedroll, he was hit with waves of exhaustion and soreness. Digging trenches for the better part of two hours had not been that difficult of work compared to the days that he put in back home, but when combined with the strain of the morning’s conflict, followed by the half-day’s ride had managed to wear out every muscle he had, leaving him unable to summon the will to get back up. 

Or so he thought, but the smell of garlic and rosemary on hot meat wafting into the tent after a few minutes drew him upright, and gave Darrien the strength to find his feet once more. Most of the men had finished their respective duties around the camp, and were lounging near the cookfire. It seemed though that the smell of dinner broke the day’s tensions, as now the silence was filled with the chatter of conversation, and even some soft laughter. Darrien felt himself let out his breath, finally also beginning to relax, and moved over towards the campfire.

“Well, if the farm boy isn’t done with the trenches finally!” The voice came from the middle of the group, but the nasally tone was unmistakable. Despite the short time they had known each other, it was only possible that it could have been Barty, who it seemed was doing quite well after his day riding in Khalar’s medical cart. 

“I’m glad to see you’re doin’ better too.” Darrien managed to get out.

“It was nice to get off my feet for a bit though, I should get injured more often!” Barty exclaimed with a laugh, and looked over towards Khalar, who was rummaging through some supplies.

Khalar gave a  short huff and threw back, “Or next time you nearly burn to death, you can walk through the snow instead!”

Barty’s face froze for a moment, his head filled with icy imagery, and his response was softer, “I was just kidding, you wouldn’t make me walk through that? Would you?” Barty gesturing out to the snow.

The medic though, just chuckled to himself, as he continued moving things around, his uniform like the others’, but with a white cross across the chest to signify his role, and wearing robes instead of armor, but keeping the forest green and silver bow pin. Objects in his robes jingled together softly as he continued to shift things within his cart.

A few minutes passed and the conversation around Barty settled down, giving Darrien the opportunity to really talk to him, with at least an air of privacy. Barty began by checking in with Darrien.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but you should be more worried about yourself,” Darrien told him.

“Hah! I had all day to worry about myself, and I’m still here, I couldn’t check in on you while I had Khalar…” Barty paused and glanced over to Khalar who simply gave a side eye to Barty while going about his business. “Taking care of me.” Barty finished slowly, with a smirk. “In any case, how was your first evening of real work setting up camp?”

“Honestly, it wasn’t too far off from mucking stables, or the like, but it’s definitely been a long day,” Darrien finished while stretching his shoulders.

“There’ll be a lot more long days yet!” Barty retorted “Though hopefully with less fireballs. I haven’t met a ton of casters or elves, but my impression of both has soured.” Barty said the last part with a bit of a grimace, and Darrien realized that for all the strength that Barty showed, he was still in a fair amount of pain. Barty looked at Darrien, and seeing Darrien’s face, Barty’s grimace transformed back into the smirk that he was wearing earlier. He continued, “I heard that you were there with good ol’ Rudy. I hope he didn’t give you too hard of a time?”

Darrien wasn’t quite sure how to answer Barty’s expectant tone. He didn’t want to complain, or worse, to tattle on someone who he would be serving alongside. However, Darrien also wasn’t sure sure that he wanted to keep the event a total secret either. “I just don’t think he trusts me very much, but it wasn’t more than I can handle.”

“Doesn’t trust you? After you dragged me outta those flames?! Why I-” Barty stopped himself and took a breath. “Listen, I know you want him to like you, but Rudy is stubborn as an ox, and strong as one too, so if you know what’s good for you, you won’t do anything reckless trying to get on his good side.” Barty leaned back, “I suggest you just stay out of his way for a bit, do your job right, and he won’t have anything to complain about.”

Darrien nodded, but the advice did not really feel right to him. He couldn’t really explain it to Barty properly it seemed, but it was more hostile than that. Darrien felt he needed to prove more than just that he was useful, but that he was part of the group, that he wasn’t going to betray them, and that he really was on their side.

Darrien only made a little bit more small talk while serving himself a bowl of stew, before he said good night and went to his tent, to eat alone, and to finally rest after the long day. Darrien had wanted to come clean about misleading the Silverbows about his relationship to the man that had attacked them that morning, but failed to find an opportunity to get Barty alone. He crawled into his tent, propped up near a bare tree on the outskirts of the camp. He laid out his bedroll, and within minutes of doing so, he had finished his dinner, crawling into his bed, and quickly fell into the dark embrace of sleep.

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review Uncategorized

Moving With The Times: A Discworld Retrospective, Part 1, The Funny Part

Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels are a series that I wish that I had read earlier in life. I found them at a time in my life where I still wanted fantasy adventures, but I needed humor. I found the balance in this series when I came across the first book digitally on my library. I had seen a few references to the series beforehand, and had been curious. Little did I know that this fun, humorous series would also be full of politics, thoughts on technology and progress, and would make me so sad to get to the end of.

Each book follows the story of one of a few settings, or a couple of characters in that setting. All of the places are on the Discworld, a flat world on the back of four elephants atop a giant turtle, swimming through space. Some of the stories are big and apocalyptic, some of them are small, but they each have something to say about some topic on which Pratchett felt.

Towards the beginning of the series, each book has a tendency to really talk about a couple of issues. Death, feminism, power, the importance of stories, religion, cultural media forms like movies and music. Since each of these books tends to deal with a pretty limited scope of issues, and tends to be more focused, the world tends to be pretty humorous and even somewhat random. Even the world of the disc is pretty chaotic in the first number of books. In a way, it sort of reflected the less connected, more wild and chaotic world that we used to live in. However, as the series progresses, the world becomes more orderly, but the books engage in a more dense set of ideas.

It’s difficult however to specifically define where these shifts happen. I think that as the world that Pratchett created developed, filled out, becoming more alive, that it allowed for him to dive deeper into the nuances of some of the ideas that he wanted to comment on or critique. If I had to place a point though, I would say The Fifth Elephant, with its international political drama, and commentaries on cultural relations, is really where the series begins to really come into its own. One could argue that Jingo, a few books earlier might also be a good place, but I feel that the books between the two, while interesting, fit more with the first group than the second.

Up to this point though, many of the books end up being parodies of other works, but with the Discworld flare and humor, though it can sometimes be hard to tell when Pratchett is satirizing other cultures, versus him satirizing what some people think about other cultures.

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life movies rant review

A Review of Broadchurch

I had originally seen the first several episodes of the series way back when it first was put on Netflix. I had enjoyed the series, but for some reason had set it aside for a while. This week though, I binge watched the whole three seasons available, and I’ve got some thoughts on the series.

A bit about the series. It is about a Scottish detective (David Tennant) who failed a case, being given the head of a police station in Broadchurch, a fictional British town, instead of local detective (Olivia Colman). The first season of the show involves the murder of a local boy, and the mystery surrounding the murder. This season was great. The suspicion, the drama, every time you think they have a lead pinned down, you think to yourself about all of the other suspicious people, and all of the unanswered questions.

For a mystery, it is certainly one of the more gripping stories that I’ve seen. A lot of mysteries either tend to have only a few viable theories, or the series throws insane twists that you couldn’t possibly see coming. You really learn details of the investigation alongside the detectives, and get to have fun picking apart the maddeningly vague stories that people give. Even with the obvious lying by witnesses and the holes in their stories, they don’t hone down on the possibilities of why those characters are lying, adding levels of mystery to the show. When I got near the end of the first season, I thought to myself, how could they continue from here? Could they do another murder mystery in the same small town? Could they solve the failed case from before? Could they do the trial of the murderer?

In fact, they do both of the last two options, solving the old failed case, and at the same time, going through the trial. I actually really loved this season for the fact that it was almost a critique of dramatic TV police investigations. All of those times that my critical brain, during the first season thought, “Wow, that’s great TV, but would be a nightmare if the case got to an actual courtroom, that kind of sloppy work would get a case dismissed.” It turned out that nearly all of those points come up again as points in the case, which was delightful. Additionally, solving the cold case was a fun mystery. There were some new characters introduced, and some new drama with the side effects of dealing with the events of the first season, though the amount of mystery and questions were reduced.

Season three though… I have a few issues with. In this season, with the trial completed, and the cold case solved, what is there left to do? Nothing actually, but to have another case. This time a rape case, where one of the characters from the first season is a crisis care worker, so that she can just so happen to hang around with the detectives more on this case, and so that we have an excuse to continue following the aftermath for their family, and find some way to bring them into the case. I didn’t really mind this too much though, as it was another compelling story, with another group of suspicious characters that reminded me of the swimming pool of questions I nearly drowned in in the first season.

With that said, I did have one actual problem with this season. Pornography. There was this incredibly moralistic attitude towards porn in the show, portraying it as a gateway to degeneracy and criminal sex abuse. Now, this could be a commentary on the views of small-town folk in the UK, but it really doesn’t appear that this is the case. Now, there are instances of underage people watching and sharing porn, I get that, and there are different types of pornography, some of which is actually violent, or may even be criminal. However, the series does not distinguish between porn in magazines or produced by studios, and videos of rape being passed around by underage students. Instead it is all looked at with this moralistic view.

What’s doubly frustrating about this view is that the series contains several scenes of partial nudity, or even softcore sex scenes. While not the whole of the thing, the hypocrisy was frustrating and confusing, and I wish that they had at least made some distinction, where they could have said “I think all porn is bad, but this stuff is illegal.”. Or, “Not my thing, but this stuff is bad.” Or “Sharing porn of people you know is a bad thing, don’t do that.”

Overall, I very much enjoyed the series, and might watch “Gracepoint” later on, when I need another hit of British mystery, or David Tennant.

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life rant

What I’ve Been Up To: Fall Quarter Edition

I moved! Only to a different apartment in the same complex, but nonetheless, out from a good deal of my stress. I now have much less personal drama in my life, and can spend my mental energy on doing things that I want to do! Of course, this means updating my blog more often, and best of all, the ability to continue working on my book!

Speaking of my third book, I finally got through the climax! Now, I just need to wrap up the story, and I can bring the first arc of the series to a close, which, if I decide not to write more on the series (though I’ve got up to 14 volumes planned) will make for a decent ending. There’s nothing like the impending end of the year coming up to make a person start to hustle on their goals for the year.

While I haven’t been writing very much, I still have been busy, between working, and learning. I’ve spent more time learning Houdini, specifically trying to learn various simulation effects. My partner and I have been working together on different parts of 3D modelling. She has difficulty with object forms, but she can turn a basic model into something detailed and interesting. I on the other hand, am good with form, and am learning some of the more technical things like simulation, rigging, lighting and rendering, so we have been passing models back and forth to create some interesting characters. I would link here, but many are NSFW. I should take more screenshots of my in-progress work, or the parts I’ve been working on.

For my reading list, I have finally made it through ALL of the Discworld novels now, and am planning on doing a retrospective writeup about the series, because I have thoughts. Also now that I am more comfortable in my living space, I can resume making my way through some of the more academic books I’ve got.

Now for the bad news, if you made it through this far. Just a couple of days ago, I briefly left my new apartment to do errands, and in the short period of time that I was gone, I managed to lose my wallet in one of the parking lots. It was my accursed comfortable pajama pants responsible for the loss, but it means that I can’t resume my delivery work that actually pays the bills until I get my replacement license in the mail. Sure I could have gotten a temporary replacement if I had gone to the DMV in person, but the only one processing licenses was too far to walk, or risk driving to. I mean, who can afford a ticket in this economy? I certainly can’t.

On the bright side, I’ve managed to work my macros out better now, and they are producing a decent amount for me. With just two phones, I’ve made about $50 so far this month, with a total of about $100 each month likely to be where I end up. Unfortunately, I misplaced my third spare phone in the move, or I would actually be able to pay my real phone bill with that passive income. For now, I am saving it for something, though I haven’t decided what yet.

On the fun front, I’ve started to play Mabinogi again, and goddamn, I forgot how much fun I had playing it. It’s like life, but so much less difficult, and more fun. I’ve been keeping an eye out on the updates for Dwarf Fortress though, once the new update hits, I may never be seen again, hah. I’ve been thinking about capitalizing on this by streaming my gameplay of these more niche games, where I can also shill my books, and get some real feedback.

There’s a lot that I missed here, summing up a quarter just doesn’t let you get into the same detail as at least monthly, if not weekly. Until next time then.

Categories
dreams life rant

More Dreams

Man, I have just been on a roll with the vivid dreams lately. Since the last time that I posted about a vivid dream that haunts me, I’ve had not one, but two more dreams about nuclear apocalypses. In both we had just an hour or so to find shelter. In the first dream, I grabbed my whole computer. In the second dream, I just tore out the hard drives and threw them into a microwave to protect them.

In the first dream, the bomb struck very close, but I didn’t actually witness the bomb or anything, I just woke up. In the second dream though, I was actually outside, and saw a missile moving at incredible speeds shooting towards the industrial zone just north of Denver.

What has been extra weird about these dreams is not how vivid they are, but how regular, even now that I am much less stressed about the world in general at the moment. The third weird thing is that I usually smoke a bunch of marijuana before bed to prevent myself from dreaming, but even that hasn’t been enough to stave off these incredibly intense dreams.

In both dreams, the blast happens in the evening, good for me, since that’s the only time that I am reliably awake, ha, it would be terrible for something like that to happen in your sleep, with no chance to escape. I think that a good chunk of it might be my built-up creativity from not writing much lately. However, it could also be that I am now just too cynical, and have a latent fear of nuclear destruction from my negative view on the direction that global politics is headed in. It could also be that my natural ability to lucid dream is just more powerful than what I’m smoking, and so I will be stuck with more of these, and will need to do some exercises to regain control properly, though it’ll be tough, the amount of fear that I feel in the nuclear dreams makes me feel frantic and unfocused. When I was young, and the threats I faced were smaller, like a vampire, or some zombies, while I was sometimes frantic, it was much easier for me to gather myself, and shift enough details to turn it from fear to fun (such as one time limiting the entry ways to one for zombies, and giving myself infinite shotgun ammo in a gun that never needed to be reloaded).

On the bright side, I finally am in a place where I actually feel comfortable enough to write again, and I even managed to knock out a big section of the climactic battle of the third book that I’m working on.